Leaders are born; leadership skills are developed. “True greatness and true leadership are not achieved by reducing men to one’s service, but in giving oneself in service to them” … Dr. Myles Munroe Leadership is generally taught by providing guidelines, principles, rules and resources to draw from when needed. Our leadership development is done in somewhat of an opposing perspective. Leadership cannot be taught; it can only be learned. Leaders either create or respond to situations. It is important that leaders learn their intuitive capabilities and how to behave by using those basic skills. Leaders must be aware and identify both proactive and reactive opportunity. Leadership is formed from an individual’s inherent nature, designed through character and then is grown and developed using those attributes as their foundation. Our choices define our character and drive our leadership. Our passion, persistence and disciplines determine where and when our leadership occurs. Strong leaders understand and accept all responsibility that accompanies their role as a leader. It is important to understand leadership expectations from an individual, corporate and cultural perspective. Many who serve as leaders have obtained leadership authority yet lack refined interpersonal skills. This limits their potential and effectiveness as leaders; as well as limiting the potential and effectiveness of those they lead. Our approach to leadership is to recognize and affirm your present leadership ability and to discover and learn additional attributes that will enhance your effectiveness.

Frustration looms among us now while doubts and fear remain Our trust is now so difficult to dominate, sustain Identity confusing now; I cannot see your face This feeling of uncertainty becoming a disgrace There is a threat we all feel now not easy to explain I try so hard to see it right never to complain We look to find stability searching for the cure Not just for health and strength we need, but oh, for so much more Our freedom has divided us from liberty a must A value system shredded now depleting all our trust It seems we lost what’s right from wrong depends on who you ask Will we find the special one to whom will take this task We cannot find the answers here to this way of life Our culture is at risk right now because of all this strife We all know where the answer lies, beyond the human race For God above does understand and will provide His grace It’s time for us to turn to Him and trust His rule of law Found in the book that’s on the shelf within the grasp of all Now open it and seek His word not hard to understand There lies the answers for our needs to prosper this great land. Proverbs: 3:5-6

I met John at a Christmas party years ago. We immediately hit it off. His core sense of reality meshed nicely with mine – we both love God. We kept in touch but did not have much chance to get together. Then I ran into him at Panera. I mentioned I was walking a few miles a day and would enjoy his company. He said since retiring, he was becoming too sedentary and welcomed the chance. As we walked, we started an ongoing conversation about life, liberty, and happiness. We not only got in great shape, but learned from each other. As a psychologist, he has amazing insights into the mind. I found them of great value. So, I asked him to blog for us. He agreed. With that, I hope you find my Good Friend

If psychologists can agree on anything, it is that life is a self-fulfilling prophesy: we get what we think about. If we continually think about fearful things, fear will be a constant problem and we will find ourselves afraid at every turn. Thoughts have power. Perhaps the 20th century’s greatest scientific discovery in this regard was made in the field of Quantum Mechanics. Scientists discovered and subsequently proved through millions of experiments, that mind plays a causal role in the formation of the reality it experiences. This was the idea behind Rhonda Byrne’s book, The Secret. Bottom line: If you change what you think about, your life will change because your thoughts construct your reality. And because the measure we give is the measure we get, our thoughts play a key formative role in crafting our existence. Our thoughts determine what we think and feel about everything. Want a better life? Then decide to have the thoughts that correspond to the life you seek. And the more energy you put into bringing your new, positive thoughts to fruition, the better the outcome. Homespun philosopher Earl Nightingale has compared life to constructing a building. Each day is a single brick. If they are poorly or haphazardly placed, the building starts to reflect it as each new layer is added. But if we set each brick with care, as the building begins to reflect our efforts, its beauty becomes the joy of our soul. Here are some ways to do that: 1) Eliminate Automatic Negative Thoughts (Ants) Do you have ANTs? It’s hard to stop automatic negative self-talk (negative thoughts popping into your head about whatever you are thinking). But you can stop them. Whenever a negative thought comes to mind (or someone says something to you (or about you) that you do not want to be true), just say “Cancel-Cancel” or “Delete-Delete.” This neutralizes the thought immediately. As all negativity is driven from your life, it is easier for your mind to positively affect and effect your existence. Say it to yourself and/or say it out loud. But say it immediately after any negativity is created. You might be saying it a lot at first, but this powerful technique disintegrates negativity. 2) Stop Rehashing Bad Memories Your mind saves every experience in detail. When we rehash bad experiences, we will keep getting those same miserable feelings all over again. We feel what we felt. Fortunately, this effect can be turned on its head. Rule number one: We cannot tell ourselves to stop thinking about something. When we try, we cause the Pink Elephant Effect, i.e., if you tell yourself not to think of a pink elephant, one pops into your head. To change your thoughts, you have to change the channel (and not to the food channel). Make a list of the happiest moments in your life. This is like suddenly having cable. Now you can close your eyes, change the channel. Let those times play-out in your mind and feel great! Even better, create a future outcomes channel and craft every outcome in the best possible light. Our mind plays a role in the outcome we get. When we add great possibilities to the probability matrix, we steer our mind toward the experience we want (negativity does the same). 3) Fill Your Pipeline Happiness is not an end; it’s a byproduct of right living. Doing good because we want to, makes us happy. If you doubt, think of the last time you did something great for someone and recall how you felt. Doing good makes us feel great! Because the measure we give is the measure we get, what we get from life is a measure of what we’re giving to it. If you want happiness, begin filling the pipeline with goodness just for the fun of it! Soon, great things will begin flowing out the other end! But never expect goodness back from the one to whom you gave it. If we expect to get it back, then it isn’t a gift. It’s an investment. Goodness should almost blind-side us. And when it does, it feels incredible! Making others feel incredible does the same for us. 4) Solve Your Problems the Right Way Because we get what we think about, people who always think about problems always have problems. People who always see goodness, find it at every turn. Thus, to solve problems, you must go toward the outcome you want, and not try to go away from what you don’t want. When you go away from what you don’t want, the Pink Elephant Effect perversely produces more of it. Going away from fear, only produces more. Going toward what we do want, e.g., more joy instead of less anger, the Pink Elephant Effect works just as hard to lay it in our lap! In Conclusion: Happiness is mutually exclusive with worry, stress, fear and anxiety. You can’t be both. But you can choose which mental state you want. By utilizing these four methods, you will find that worry, stress, fear and anxiety melt away. Manifest the things that produce happiness and life becomes a bounty. As it is written, seek and ye shall find. But first you have to seek!