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Who Are You?
My Friend John • May 14, 2021
Who Are You?
One question that philosophers, scientists, and theologians have all attempted to answer is this: Who and what are you? In more formal terms, what constitutes a person’s continuity of personal identity through time and space? What factors account for the unity of our being as we continue to change radically in size, shape, personality, attitudes, and beliefs across time?
We’re not the same person we were as a baby as the person we become in old age. Almost nothing about us is the same. We don’t look the same. We don’t act the same. Nor do we think the same. And because we have a complete turn-over in our cellular makeup every seven years, none of the bodily tissue that made us children still exists in adulthood.
So, what is it that makes us – us? Are we simply a body with a brain that updates daily? Or are we more? Answering this question might clarify how you understand your nature. If science had a process to transfer your essence into a new body, would you:
a) Still be you in a new body; b) Be both you and your new body; or c) Would you be a new person?
Wondering whether the essence of a person is their mind, their body or both, Plato famously posed this question: Can we be both the user and the thing being used? To determine the answer, he followed up with these: Is a leather worker the same as his tools? Is a harper the same as his harp? Is a carpenter synonymous with the wood he uses? Clearly the answer is – no. Therefore, because we use our body as a tool to implement our wants and desires, we cannot be our body.
Plato thus concluded that a person cannot be their body because the ruler of the body cannot be the body it rules. We are our body’s governor. It does our bidding. In the same way that a leatherworker is separate from his tools and harpers are separate from their harp, we must be separate from our material body. Long story short, you cannot be your body.
We are what Descartes (2000 years later) termed “thinking stuff,” an immaterial substance whose properties are entirely mental. Our mind is our soul, while our body allows us to indirectly experience material reality through its information receptors, allowing us to see, hear, think, feel, and remember. As C.S. Lewis put it, “We are not people with souls, we are souls with bodies.”
The soul is invisible (which is why it cannot be found during autopsies). It is non-composite (which means it has no parts). As such, it cannot be broken apart and remains intact after death. As proof, this is exactly what people who’ve had a Near-Death Experience (NDE) report once returning to life. International Association of Near-Death Studies (IANDS) polling suggests that as advanced resuscitation techniques bring the dead back to life, literally millions report this.
Soul is the English word for our timeless spiritual essence (our divine nature). As souls, we have a oneness with a Being called God (in English) who placed us in these bodies. According to Him, we are Beings made in His image. We are causally linked to Him. He is in us and we are in Him. He provides ongoing guidance and assistance, while seeing to our needs (and some of our wants), as He lovingly leads us to the still waters present in our soul.
Our body is a visible, composite, changing, time bound, chemically governed, material thing. It has its own needs and wants. While minds/souls seek happiness, bodies naturally seek pleasure. Throughout history, philosophers and theologians have pondered this dichotomy between the wants and needs of the body vs. the wants and needs of the mind/soul. They have developed various theories for why we should pursue one or the other or both.
Bodies are demanding. They have great pull on us. The chances are overwhelming that if we do something pleasurable, we’re almost certain to do it again (which is why, according to Frito-Lay, we can’t just eat one chip). Theories of behavior that pursue unbridled pleasure are termed hedonistic, which is a total commitment to debauchery, decadence, and self-indulgence. For hedonists, bodily pleasure is the only true happiness.
Theologians tend to advocate approaches that go in the opposite direction, e.g., asceticism. This is the austere “sackcloth and ashes” way to purify the mind and rid it of any lust for earthly pleasure. Citing Christ’s forty days of fasting in the desert, they believe starving oneself is the best way to subdue the body’s pull on the mind. Their thinking is, if you absolutely rule over your body’s fundamental need to eat, you gain full control over the “lusts of the flesh.”
But these are extremes. And while God sometimes finds it necessary to chlorinate the gene pool, by His very nature, He isn’t mean. If He was, He would not have started humans off in a garden paradise (according to the story). Granted, He made us to learn by our mistakes, and hedonism is clearly a mistake. On the other hand, because He is an all-loving, merciful Being, He does not demand that we purify ourselves with torture.
He wants us to find the middle ground between what works and what doesn’t. Sometimes, people make things evil for their own reasons that hinder true spirituality. Alcohol is example. Obviously, its misuse is a scourge. But if that were the whole story, God would not have said in Psalms 104:15 that - He brought forth wine to gladden the hearts of men. Nor would Christ have decided that His first public miracle would be making 180 gallons of great wine for a feast (which in modern parlance is 720 bottles), so guests could continue to drink as much as they wanted.
Clearly, the results are in: Christ’s dictum that we find real happiness being unconquerably kind to others is the Truth. The center of God’s middle ground is being of service to others for no other reason than they need the help, and we can give it. Long after they may have forgotten all about it, we still remember it and still have the feeling of how great it made us feel to do it. Kindness is truly its own reward.
Which brings us full circle to our original question: Who are you? Because our body ties us to this world of appearance, self-understanding includes the information our body obtains from the world - about this world. When we speak of who we are, it is therefore natural to mention both our physical and mental attributes, e.g., as a writer, I am tall, balding (but very handsome), smart, strong, loving, kind, creative, athletic, and cool, things that involve both my mind/soul and body.
But I didn’t get that way over night. From the time I was a little bitty baby, to now a full-grown man, nothing about the way I was at first (or even in the middle) compares to the way I am now. This is true for all of us. Our world requires us to adapt. Ergo, we learn, grow, and develop to become better, more resilient versions of ourselves. In so doing, we burnish our soul.
That’s why God placed us here on earth. As the potter molds the clay, He shapes us by letting us learn from our mistakes. But not only our mistakes. We learn as much proactively doing the right thing as doing the wrong. The lifelong process of figuring out who and what we are (and learning right from wrong), causes even the best of us to make plenty of mistakes. And occasionally, they’re real bloopers. Some of these missteps are labeled sin.
But the Hebrew word for sin is hhatah (Strong’s #2403). It is an ancient archery term that literally means to “miss the mark.” Was it God who said, “Practice makes perfect” or was it my mother? Anyway, that’s the idea. And along the way, God gives us tips, insights and abilities when we’re ready for them to help us learn, grow and develop. Eventually we can hit the designated target every time. Then He gives us another target and more arrows.
Believe me, God understands our mistakes and shows love, kindness, mercy, and compassion for us every time we miss the mark. A God that created human beings to learn by their mistakes is not going to jump down their throat when they make one. In fact, He might smile a little that we learned an important lesson, one that can only be acquired experientially.
Then, He just picks us up out of the dust, washes us clean and says, “It’s okay. Let’s try it again!” Isn’t it funny how we keep getting the same problems in life until we get past them? Just as school lessons are scripted, sometimes our difficulties are there for a reason. Clearly, another key to happiness is not having to learn the same lessons over and over and over!
Fortunately for us, God has infinite patience, love and mercy. He loves us to death (and beyond) no matter what. Finding out who we are is part of our life’s mission. Finding out what souls are and what they are meant to do makes us better souls. Discovering from experience that we are directly linked to our Creator, and that He relishes the chance to provide us with yet another miracle because he loves us like there is no tomorrow (which for Him there isn’t) is truly pretty cool!
-My Friend John
To avoid misunderstanding, it is important to know the exact meaning of the words we hear, read and use. Studies show that there is a direct relationship between our vocabulary and our reading speed. Words are essentially linguistically encoded sounds that represent the ideas we use to communicate thoughts both intra-mind and inter-mind. It is impossible to think in any meaningful way without using words. Knowing the exact definition of the words we use it is not only vital for good communication, it is a good measure of one’s brain power. Since words are linguistically encoded ideas, the more words we know, the more ideas we have in our brain pan to use as building blocks for thought. Intelligence is defined as the ability to think, reason, plan, and comprehend. Thus, the more exact definitions we possess, the better we can process and analyze. To that end, studies confirm that we actually increase our intelligence when we increase our vocabulary. This is why reading is considered absolutely vital for those who seek more brain power and deeper understandings. It is far easier to think important thoughts when we don’t have to reinvent the “thought wheel.” Knowing the exact definition of more words allows us to make important connections between ideas instead of having to think the ideas in the first place. The simplest way to acquire new linguistically encoded thoughts is to read those of others. Importantly, to learn from what we read, we must already know the definitions of the words we’re reading. Otherwise, it’s like me reading Chinese. If we don’t know or misunderstand a word’s exact meaning, we either miss or misconstrue the point they are intended to encapsulate. For this reason, learning the exact definition of words is key to better understanding. When, as receivers, we do not acquire the understandings imbued in words, either because we don’t know the word’s meaning or the sender misuses his words, a communication breakdown results. Sometimes, serious contentious arguments arise that could have been avoided if the parties exchanging ideas understood the linguistic encodings being exchanged. This problem is compounded when going from one language to another. When translating an idea encoded in one linguistic format into another, both languages must have the idea in common. The problem is complicated by the fact that every language has common words that aren’t directly translatable. Ideas exist in one language that don’t exist in others because they have no linguistically encoded analog to convey them. And how can one discuss an idea for which there are no words? Other related difficulties exist in the effort to translate words, thoughts and ideas from one language to another to gain an exact understanding of the word: 1) When a word in two languages sounds the same but has a completely different meaning in each language confusion is likely. Numerous examples of this are found in the King James Bible between its Old English and Modern English. Passages in the KJV, which uses words from over 400 years ago, do not always say what they appear to say. And that problem doesn’t even take into consideration the problem of going from Greek, which is an explicit language, to English which is not. A great number of new translations have been spawned to correct this difficulty over the last few centuries. But the problem remains. 2) When one language uses an all-encompassing, generalized word with many definitions, e.g., love (in English the concept has 15 different definitions), while in another language (Greek) love has a different word for each separate definition. As a result, languages that create more words to facilitate understanding are far more precise as to the definitional meaning intended. Ergo, theologians learn Greek. 3) Words can have meanings that are far removed from their formal definition, e.g., If I say, “She is cool, but she is hot!” or “She is hot, but she is cold!” a Chinese person learning English might think this is crazy talk. Thus, using jargon to convey a precise understanding doesn’t always eliminate the problems of misinterpretation. The definition I imply may not be the linguistically encoded idea you infer. Real-life examples of misunderstandings caused by differing definitions both within languages and between languages are found in the New Testament (NT). The word sin in English and the same concept in Greek is a prime example. Because the NT was written in Greek, the original text is far more explicit and far more revealing as to exactly what was intended to be conveyed, than when reading the same passage in English. In the original Greek, the NT uses 33 different words from ten different roots for the single English word sin. Each different use changes the meaning of the passage. The most common word for sin in the original is Hamartia, which is an archery term that means: to err and/or miss the miss the mark. Importantly, Hamartia, which is used pervasively in the NT, does not reference evil. Yet the word is used so pervasively, the theological term for the study of sin is hamartiology. The Apostle Paul used its verb form, hamartano, when he wrote, “For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). When the meaning behind sin is viewed in this context, does it change your understanding of the passage? Perhaps the greatest misunderstanding of this type (meanings skewered in translation) in the OT is the word for kill in the passage “Thou shall not kill.” The word used in the Hebrew text is ratzach (sounds like ra-shaw) and it means murder. In OT times, Jewish Law had at least 12 different legitimate reasons for killing people. The chief of which was capital punishment for the crime of murder and was to be carried out by either stoning, decapitation, burning or strangulation. The following are the Old Testament reasons for killing: 1) Self-defense; 2) An eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth response; 3) A Jew who attempts to turn another Jew into a non-Jew; 4) Idolatry; 5) Adultery; 6) Sex with animals; 7) Raping a betrothed virgin; 8) Witchcraft, i.e., cavorting with evil spirits; 9) Kidnapping; 10) premeditated Murder; 11) A woman found not to be a virgin on her wedding night; 12) Giving false testimony in a trial where the punishment is death; 13) And of course, children who dishonor their parents (seriously). Needless to say, if Americans were living under Old Testament law (or even Sharia Law today such as with their honor killings), we would be put to death in astounding numbers by the very book that said in English: Thou shall not kill. The larger point is that the Hebrew understanding of this verse is radically different than how it is understood in English. The OT Jews found killing necessary and killed a lot of people in the process (killing Goliath is still celebrated). In point of fact, Jewish law had the death penalty attached to far more crimes than do we in America. ; Were they right? Who is to say? Scholars have studied this question for centuries. Was Jewish Law largely a cultural necessity? Or was all the killing required by Jewish Law exactly what it was purported to be, edicts from Jehovah. Clearly, God takes a very different approach to killing in the NT than the one attributed to him in the OT. Interestingly, this same word translation discrepancy exists in the first chapter of Genesis. The Jewish version of the OT does not use words whose definition reference 24-hour days. But that discussion is best left for another time. The bottom line on this discussion is that when we do not take the time to learn the exact definition of the words we use, we will inevitably send/receive wrong messages. What’s worse is that we will harbor wrong ideas as a result - when we think we’re right. In the final analysis, I have learned from long experience that it is best to keep our words soft and sweet just in case we used the wrong ones and find that we must finally eat them. - My Friend John
As a man, I believe there are few things other people can say about a man that exceeds, “You’re a class act!” But what does it mean to have class? For me, it means having certain admirable qualities that dictate our behavior dealing with others. The following list is what I believe are the ten most important qualities a man who wishes to be a class act can possess. 1) Graciousness: To be gracious means to be kind and courteous always. Nothing marks a man quicker than an inability to kind and courteous when it counts. It means being patient in the face of rude behavior. Having class means being slow to take offense, or as the Bible puts it, be long-suffering. We don’t like to be quickly and poorly judged. Neither does anyone else. Being gracious means not being provoked by the foibles (quirks, odd-ball habits, small annoyances) of others. It means having tact, which is the ability to hold one’s tongue when it would be easy to “Let them have it!” People with class are civil. 2) Having a Great Attitude: This is your disposition and natural inclination of mind. People with class expect the best and tend to get the best. A great attitude means being thankful for what they have as opposed to griping about what they don’t have. They find things for which to be grateful as opposed to lamenting the sad and disappointing. When situations can have both a positive and a negative spin, people with class are optimistic. They are grounded in the belief that God has it handled and that it will all work out for the best. 3) To Be Magnanimous of Spirit: This means having a generosity of mind and kindness of heart that allows one to be humble and not haughty or stingy. It means being benevolent to less powerful people, e.g., how we treat children. Do we lord it over them or do we treat them with dignity and respect? Do we show others that they matter even when it comes to the little things or, do we only treat them kindly when we need something? It means being open-handed, giving both sides a fair hearing even when we like one side more. 4) People With Class Like Themselves: They like who they are and what they’ve become and carry ourselves in a way that says, “I like me, but I’m not stuck on me.” And “I’m not perfect, but I’m a good man and I’m getting better.” Liking ourselves means having a healthy self-image. We understand that God is truly manifesting His goodness through us, and we like being that guy. When we like ourselves, it’s easier to like others. People who like themselves are confident and believe in themselves when the chips are down. 5) It Means Putting a High Standard on The Way You Present yourself: People with class look the part. They dress with taste, but not lavishly. They don’t adorn themselves with more than they can afford. They’re neat, well-groomed, and clean, and when appropriate, they’re not. But it’s more than looks. Men with class are always looking to be of service to others. They open doors, help others carry their load, give up their seat and lend a hand. Always courteous, they love doing for others without thought of some future pay-pack. 6) People With Class Are Authentic: They know who they are and what they’re about and can be who they are without worrying what others think. It means being genuine. When we are authentic, we are not one way with some people and another way with others, e.g., holy in church but mean to people at work. Being authentic means that your word matters. It means you like being a person of character. Not a goody-two-shoes, but a person with the strength to be who they are, while not belittling those at a lower station in life. 7) It Means Being Empathetic: When we can walk a mile in another’s moccasins, we have a life-sized understanding of what it’s like to be them which makes us compassionate. To have class is to be able to cut people some slack, refrain from harsh judgments and being critical. An old Scottish saying goes, “God tempers the north wind to the shorn lamb.” A shorn lamb is one who just had its entire wool coat shaved off. The predominant north wind is very cold, but God has a heart for what that lamb is going through and abates the wind to keep it from the cold. Knowing what it’s like to be in a rotten mess, people with class show kindness and compassion to those mired in misery. 8) It Means Doing the Right Thing for The Right Reasons: Sometimes it’s not always clear what the right thing is, and sometimes even when we know what it is, it’s such a hassle that we demur because we’re not up for it. But making a habit of doing the right thing is an important part of having class. It also means doing the right thing when no one is watching. A critical part of doing the right thing is doing it for the right reasons. Doing something because we hope to get something out of it is different. 9) It Means Having Manners: It’s always the little things. Every request of another must be accompanied with please and every deferential act on the part of another toward us must be honored with a thank-you. It means being polite and courteous. It means not talking over people or interrupting them before they finish. It means being a patient listener. People with class do not talk non-stop without pausing for others to have their say. At the table it means not talking with a mouth full of food or chewing with your mouth open. The bottom line with manners is they offer a way to be considerate of others. 10) Having a Way with Words: This is not just about being articulate, it’s about our intention with the words we choose and the ones we avoid. Dale Carnage said, “If you want to be thought a good guy, never criticize, condemn, or complain.” While this is not always easy, especially when we’re provoked, I can say that I do not recall being disappointed for failing to criticize, condemn or complain about something. But there were plenty of times when I did so and regretted it later. Complimenting people for meritorious acts is essential. But we should never be phony to make someone feel good. When we try to praise someone with something we know and they know is not true, it is called being patronizing, and has the opposite affect because it only draws attention to the lack. We should be hearty in our praise and lavish in our approbation! These ten ideals that mark a person with class are not necessarily all inclusive. But if one takes the time to make these qualities of character important attributes of their being, they will be considered a class act everywhere they go. As such, their ability to have a positive impact upon the world will be substantially magnified over moving forward with a decided lack of class! By My Friend John
How our life unfolds can be summarized by these two interrelated maxims: 1) Life is a self-fulfilling prophesy (we get what we think about); 2) The measure we give is the measure we get. Both make clear that our life consequences are directly related the thoughts we have about life. Deciding on our mind’s focus as we seek to effect our life must be job one. The first step in this process is deciding upon our intentionality: What do we intend? Do we intend to be rich?Do we intend to be happy? Do we intend to be healthy? Do we intend to have tons of friends? Do we intend to have loads of fun? Do we intend to be amazing? Do we intend to be knowledgeable? Etc . . . One thing these have in common is their focus on accomplishing. And while accomplishing what we decide is obviously important, it isn’t always the most important. Many people who get rich find money is a great means but a poor end; People who look for happiness often look in all the wrong places; People who focus on health often develop habits that wear them out and, in the end, diminish the very thing they seek; People with a life focus on fun ultimately find too late that there is more to life than having fun. In the end, it’s not so much what we do as who we are. What kind of a person are we and what kind of a person do we want to be? In this, our attitude is foundational. This includes our attitude toward God, life, ourselves, our friends, what comes to us and our necessary response to living. And one of the most important attitudinal principles shaping our entire being is gratitude. From the Latin gratus (not gratis which means free), we get the word grateful, which means a deep appreciation and sense of thankfulness for what we receive. Gratefulness has been deemed such a prized human propensity regarding the best way to live, it is become an intrinsic principle for every major religion on earth. Our ability to consciously appreciate and heap thankfulness those who bestow love and kindness upon us, i.e., being grateful, is what makes us the people we are and determines the people we will become. A profound connection exists between gratitude and spirituality (spirituality being our ongoing interaction with God). Martin Luther termed gratitude the “heart of the Gospel.” Christians are beckoned to be continually mindful of the love, kindness, and blessings God showers upon us. Many Christian traditions announce this when they sing The Doxology in worship: Praise God, from whom all blessings flow; Praise Him, all creatures here below; Praise Him above, ye heavenly host; Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen. Two reasons exist as to why spirituality drives gratitude: One, people who are not God oriented see the world differently. For them, amidst the chaos of a random world, filled with pain, heartache and despair, gratitude makes no sense. Two, God tells us that at His core essence is agape love (unconquerable kindness) and that He expects it of His followers. And clearly, showing gratitude for kindness is the agape thing to do. God has called us to be continuously grateful. Not just for the wonderfulness bestowed upon us, but for everything that comes our way. God says to be grateful not just for the good, but the bad as well. In His divine province, He controls every destiny and every outcome. With His infinite wisdom guiding our destiny, He uses heartfelt disappointments to produce good outcomes for us that could not have transpired if the perceived bad thing didn’t happen first. Hence, we are called to be grateful for what life brings. As we look back on our difficulties, we can see how they ultimately proved fortuitus. How many times have we realized that if it wasn’t for “that” then “this” could never have happened? Maintaining an attitude that responds to the bummers of life with gratefulness signifies that we understand that God must allow A to happen before B can exist. The more grateful we are amidst our present dilemma, the easier it is to wrap our minds around how God works things out. Importantly, this means letting go of worry, fear, and disappointment in the present and focus on being grateful for the lesson we’re being given and learn from it. Clearly, being grateful for rotten circumstances is not easy. With limited understanding, we get caught up in the handwriting on the wall and find it difficult to believe God can work it out. This is exactly why the scriptures tell us that God makes a way where there seems no way. When we can wrap our mind around the idea that God is with us and He is leading us through whatever it is, we can let go of the fear and anger that debilitate us. And this boils down to trust. If we can trust God that He is there for us and working things out, we are able to love Him more and more, which helps us to sense his presence in our lives and grow closer to Him. Just as importantly, being grateful for our present circumstances helps us to maintain an attitude that makes them go better, which is why an attitude of gratitude is the number one correlate with mental health. In the 90s, Martin Seligman, then president of the American Psychological Association launched a new school of psychology called Positive Psychology. He sought to switch psychology’s focus from reducing mental illness to improving mental wellbeing. He launched studies to measure the effects of gratitude on people. One such study found gratitude is "one of the most empowering, healing, dynamic instruments of consciousness and is vital to demonstrating the life experiences one desires" (Richelieu, 1996). Another study found that gratitude was "the key that opens all doors, " it unlocks the fullness of life," and is the "key to abundance, prosperity, and fulfillment" (Emmons and Hill, 2001). Researcher Robert Emmons explained why gratitude is so powerful in its ability to produce wellbeing: “Gratitude protects against the negative. Gratitude mitigates toxic emotions. Nothing destroys happiness more quickly than worry, fear, and anger. To this, German philosopher Baldwin Schwarz added, "the ungrateful, envious, complaining man cripples himself. He is focused on what he has not and/or on that which somebody else has or seems to have. In so doing, he tends to poison his world" (Schwarz, 1999).” In his book, Thanks: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Emmons laid out three principles for becoming more grateful: Attention, Interpretation, and Memory. 1) Attention is noticing and becoming attuned to the many blessings we receive. This not only includes friends and loved ones, but seemingly simply things that make life better. Placing our mental emphasis on thankfulness for even the simplest of things brings more goodness into our lives and it blots out the negativity that sours life. 2) Interpretation is the conscious decision to understand things and/or events as blessings instead of burdens. Our immediate reaction to events colors how we will feel about them subsequently and the meaning we give them. Grateful people interpret reality in a way that enhances and sustains their grateful outlook on life. Thinking in terms of good fortune and being fortunate, having abundance and luck, we freeze out regrets and disappointments. 3) Memories of grateful experiences we’ve had and wonderful things we’ve received, allow us to continually relive events that made us happy, and/or made us feel lucky and blessed with God’s goodness. Our thoughts shape our emotions and feelings, and ultimately our life. So thinking on wonderful things and feeling the thankfulness that comes with such thoughts, shapes our destiny in numerous positive ways. Living with an attitude of gratitude isn’t always easy, but as many philosophers and theologians note, blessings flow to those who feel grateful to be the recipient of God’s bounty. The measure we give is the measure we get. Life is a self-fulfilling prophesy. Being proactively grateful for everything we receive with a kind, thoughtful response and facing life with a benevolent attitude increases the likelihood of having even more to be grateful for. Gratitude is the perfect way to love God and show kindness to others for all that we receive. -My Friend John
Philosophers, scientists (and most humans) have been trying to answer these two questions for centuries to no avail. They breed questions like - Does a thing have to have substance to be real and if so what kind of substance would that be? Is imaginary substance possible? Must real things be material, or do they simply need to have the quality of existence? Science believes that to be considered real, a thing must be capable of being weighed, measured, and/or counted. But that leaves out a great part of what we collectively call “reality” that science refuses to acknowledge as existing. If only measurable things are real, does that mean ideas are not real? How about dreams and fantasies? Are figments of our imagination real? Philosophers, on the other hand, believe that if a thing has properties, it is real. Because ideas are their stock in trade, their view of real is broader and includes immaterial things. Science’s dilemma is explaining why real immaterial things like information and ideas (which are packets of information) are not real. Their inability to do so decimates the view that material substance is the defining characteristic of reality. Which of course is fine with theologians because they are of the view that the material world before us is just a tiny part of reality. They believe the spiritual world is far more real than physical reality. Historically, humans have sensed that this realm exists but do not yet understand it. This perception has been compared to the wind. We can’t see it, but we sure can feel it. For thinkers and feelers alike, the question, “What is real?” is vitally important because people don’t like “fake.” As such, being able to know the difference between what is real and what is counterfeit saves time, effort, and possibly great stress. I believe knowing and understanding the difference is the most important question you will ever answer. People believe all kinds of things. We constantly question which things exist or if historical events happened. That’s why Missouri is the “Show me!” state. Seeing is believing. But magic tricks belie this view. If something is within our experience, we might “buy” it. If not, we are likely to be skeptical. Doubting Thomas refused to believe his best friends. Is the past real? Despite the idea of time travel, it cannot be shown to exist. Artifacts are time traveling informational packets linking us to something that no longer exists. The fact is, the past is now only an idea in your head. And if you live in the past, you are living in unreality. Our mind constantly edits, adapts and/or augments memories with newly acquired information. New experiences update our mind’s contents. As such, humans constantly argue about something that does not exist: We argue about what happened, who did what to whom and what it meant. We even argue about whether the past even existed. Was the earth created in 4000 BC or is it four billion years old? Overwhelming evidence exists to show that the earth is very old. Some see it as a point of faith that Genesis must be taken literally (and believed absolutely). But because they are using flawed criteria for what is real, they can be right according to their definition of real and still be wrong. Neither do humans agree on ideas as to the nature of right, wrong, good and/or bad, or even whether they exist. However, humanity has devised ways to determine if a thing is likely true. The most common way is to evaluate the evidence as to how things turned out. Certainly, Christ used this standard with His “good” fruit analogy. Yet, as Aesop demonstrated in his many fables, very often what is good for one is bad for another. Gaining an understanding of what is good and what is not is the essence of wisdom. And yet most of the wise rules for life seem to have important exceptions. So, getting to “real” is not a straight line. But it is generally acknowledged by old people that taking the time to distinguish real from counterfeit (when it comes to good, bad, right and wrong) makes life go better. That said, it is literally impossible to definitively say what is real and what isn’t, because it all depends on the definition used as to what constitutes real and what properties are included in it. I believe something is real if it has the ability to either affect (which means to impact something) and/or effect something else (which means to bring into existence). If it is real - it is causal. Determining whether a thing is real or unreal, requires an all-inclusive umbrella category encompassing both: This is the quality of existence. Both real and unreal things exist. But unreal things exist as names for concepts indicating a real thing’s lack. Darkness (for example) is not a thing; it is the lack of a thing. It is not a real thing because it is not causal. It can be said to be causal in the sense that darkness will kill plants. But the darkness is not causing the problem, it’s the lack of a real thing – light – that is causing the plants to perish. This illustrates why taking the time to grasp the difference between “real” and “unreal” is of value. Increasing what is real and not wasting time trying to shrink the unreal makes a lot of difference in how things go. For example, love is a real thing because it has impact. Its opposite (meanness) is the name we give to a lack of love. Being more loving is better than being less mean! The most powerful force we possess is our ability to produce ideas. And it is vitally important that we craft ideas that have positive impact because nothing is as powerful as an idea whose time has come. And we craft our reality by the ideas we create and those we retain. Ideas motivate our bodies to act and our hearts to love. They induce our emotions and our creativity. They unleash our passion and undergird our effort to bring ideas to fruition. We are nothing without ideas. Only conscious Beings can create them and transmit them. One category of idea transmission is termed prayer. When we pray, we’re sending one of our very own ideas to God, asking Him to change something we either don’t like or want to be better. But does prayer work? According to Dr. Larry Dossey, who has written 13 books chronicling the scientific studies on whether prayer works. Results gleaned from over 3000 studies were so telling, he finally had to write a book entitled, Be Careful What You Pray For, warning people to use this power wisely. When we pray, we are asking God to change the course of the universe and incline it toward our wants and desires as to future outcomes. The first studies done on prayer showed that prayer made a clear difference. But those results were dismissed because detractors rightly claimed that it was impossible to know whether people in the control group (those not being prayed for) were prayed for unbeknownst to the researchers. But this criticism was negated in subsequent studies done during animal surgeries so that this variable could be controlled. Prayer studies were even done on bacteria and how two different petri dishes reacted to the same antibiotic. It does make a difference! But does prayer have enough power to change the past? Dossey reported a study done where a list of people chosen at random were prayed for who stayed in the hospital the previous year. Nobody in any aspect of the study knew how these people did medically. At the conclusion, their results were unsealed. The prayed-for group did much better at healing and recovering than the control group. Did these prayers change the past and improve the state of those in need? It all depends on who you ask. The numbers themselves are indisputable. However, some criticized the study as resembling a slot machine where the right numbers sometimes appear by chance. On the other hand, if we pray to a timeless God residing in a timebound position, He hears our prayers now but has the ability to apply them whenever He deems it appropriate. The point is, our prayers, as part of our effort to transmit information (via God) in the form of ideas, definitely impacts our reality. Overwhelming evidence exists to support the proposition that prayers are real things that have impact, regardless of time. The science of Quantum Mechanics demonstrated almost a century ago that our thoughts are a cofactor in the formation of reality at the subatomic level. They have no idea how. But science can definitely show that it does. Bottom line: According to numerous scientific studies, if you’re not praying fervently, you are not taking full advantage of the power our Creator has bestowed upon us! When we create and hold onto ideas encoding what is ultimately real, like goodness, kindness, and love, we can expect the positive impact they offer. In essence, seek to increase the light, don’t waste time trying to shrink the darkness. Because while they both exist, only one of them is real. By My Friend John
Trust is so important, that its manifestation literally holds the civilized world together. Almost nothing between people will work without trust. With it, comes cooperation; without it, suspicion runs rampant. Just think of the difference between trusting someone and not trusting them. When we trust them completely, cooperation is simple; when we don’t, e.g., we don’t believe what they say and their motives seem suspect, we balk. The need for trust in order to live free is comprehensive. Just think about how bundled up life can get when we can’t trust anything people say? Would we take a drive in the country if we couldn’t trust our car? Do we buy food that we don’t trust to be safe? Would we trust politicians who have problems with the truth? Would we take a vaccine if we didn’t trust science? These are some of the very questions at the heart of America’s current upheaval. It is difficult to name a single societal interaction where trust doesn’t make things better and the lack of it makes things worse. And yet trust is often hard to come by. After all, we can’t just go to the grocery store and buy it (although I heard Amazon is now selling it on-line – with free delivery!). What is it about trust that makes it so necessary? Simply put, to take the leap of faith that trust requires, we must make ourselves vulnerable. Trusting reduces our feeling of vulnerability. No matter what we trust, we are accepting an assurance that things will work out. The more danger we face, the more trust is required on our part to assuage or reduce our feeling of vulnerability. We must trust someone or something to avoid the fear and anxiety that results from its lack. If we have complete trust in someone or something that everything will be all right, the mind has no need for protection mechanisms like fear and anxiety to keep our guard up and keep us alert for danger. But if we completely trust someone or something, we can be confident that our trust is justified. This allows us to go forward with assurance. When we don’t trust, no matter how much assurance given that all will be well, we just don’t buy it. And when we don’t, we get defensive and uncooperative. The basic human need for self-preservation kicks in and we refuse the advice, decline to use the product, or refuse to accept the help. In short, when we don’t trust, we don’t cooperate. Quite likely, we’ll take things into our own hands. When everyone starts taking everything into their own hands, chaos isn’t far behind. So how do we trust? For me, to trust, I must figure out the level of reliability and dependability behind that which is asking for my trust. When we believe these two factors are high, we feel safe in making ourselves vulnerable to future outcomes by putting some aspect of our future in the hands of someone or something else. That’s trust. The more we trust, the more we feel assured. Conversely, when we are anxious and fear-laden about some aspect of life, it is difficult to place our trust in anyone or anything. Truly, fear and trust are on opposite ends of life’s great teeter-totter. The more we trust in someone or something to deliver, the less we fear and/or the more we fear an outcome, the harder it is to muster even a modicum of trust. But like all teeter-totters, the ends are connected by the plank between them, which in this case is the future. Because whether it’s about fear or about trust, it’s about the future. When we’re trusting, we’re putting forth the belief that the future is going to work out just fine. Anxiety, on the other hand, is quite bluntly fear of the future. And when we fear it, our mind tends to run wild with all kinds of potential bad stuff happening. If we’re anxious about some future outcome (generalized anxiety being a fear of all outcomes), that fear will grab us and make us miserable. It’s no fun being afraid. When we trust, we have confidence that everything will work out and with confidence comes courage. To have confidence is to have faith that someone or something will reliably/dependably deliver the goods. Confidence gives us courage. Courage is trust in action. When we trust, we are putting faith in our belief that our trust is well placed. Therein lies the power of trust, that we can dare. But no matter how much trust we place in our ability to prevail, some future dangers are so immense, we have no ability to affect them. The chief future peril of which I speak, is death. Sigmond Freud (and his brother French) believed that ego extinction is mankind’s biggest fear. He further believed humans invented God to assuage this mortal fear gripping humanity. Before Freud, the French Enlightenment philosopher Voltaire (1694-1788) famously said, “If God didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent Him” for precisely this reason. Because the idea of God tends to promote trust, cooperation, and adherence to behavioral norms amongst His minions, the “God” concept is necessary for cross-cultural cooperation. Many murders were not committed for fear of rotting in hell. Placing our trust in God solves that problem. However, questions as to God’s existence seem to follow directly thereafter. But that argument is completely unnecessary. The question - Do you have a soul? makes it moot. Your answer will tell you everything you need to know about the nature of the universe. If you have one, then you have assurance that God is a loving Being who must exist. If you don’t, then according to TV, you might be a Zombie. But what kind of God is God? The term connotes an Entity that is the essence of perfection in all aspects of His Being. That means He is all knowing and all powerful; He is the essence of love and His timing is perfect. He said He came to earth not to be served by us, but to serve us (as perfect love is wont to do). And that He loves us with a love so powerful we cannot begin to comprehend it. But it is there for us if we want it. All we have to do is ask. But can we trust Him? Most people, when they think about whether they can trust such an Entity, start from the bottom up. Which means asking: Why would a Being so immense that He could create a universe with the snap of His fingers, care about tiny people on a tiny planet? Why would He make a point of taking us individually into consideration as part of every act? However, in my view, it’s best to look at trusting God from the top down, i.e., starting with the definition of God Himself. If God is truly the best Being which can be conceived, then he must be a totally loving Being that cares about every single person. If a perfect being created the universe and put us here to learn, grow and develop, He did so for an overwhelmingly important reason – a perfect reason. Luckily, that reason comes with perfect love, which means perfect care, and fortunately for us, God can’t lie and He doesn’t make mistakes. Maybe it will turn out that we’re here so we can learn to trust Him. Maybe we need to allow ourselves to become vulnerable, so that we can see firsthand that He can be trusted. Maybe that’s the blessed assurance. What I’ve learned during my years on earth is that the more I trust God to handle everything so that it works out perfectly, the less I fear and the less I have to fear. And to the extent that I find myself afraid, I realize that I’m trying to manage everything on my own and I’m not trusting God to handle it perfectly for me. And by perfectly, I mean exactly that: God’s hand on my life causes everything to work out perfectly for me in the scope of His perfect plans for my life - every time. In light of that, what’s not to trust? - My Friend John
When I was little, all I knew about love I learned from my parents. My mom was incredibly loving, Dad not so much. He was a good guy, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that, due to his own upbringing, he didn’t exactly know how to convey love to his children. But I thought that at the time because I didn’t understand the essence of love. As a kid, it was warm fuzzies all over! As with so many, Sunday School provided my first lessons on the nature of love. I was taught stories from the Old Testament about how God’s people slayed their enemies. That clouded my sense of God’s love. On the one hand, we were taught that Jesus said to love our enemies. On the other, we were bombarded with famous stories about God’s chosen killing thousands. The story of David murdering Goliath in cold blood was a best seller. In a court of law, it might be ruled self-defense. But David’s action certainly didn’t exemplify Jesus’s teaching about how best to behave. To this day, many Christians joyfully recount Old Testament stories about God’s chosen smiting their enemies. It makes the idea of loving one’s enemy a little confusing. In my late teens, after much struggle, I gave my life to Christ. This necessitated reconciling these two radically different approaches to dealing with one’s enemies. How do we love people we just do not like? It’s counter-intuitive. It took me more than forty years of investigation and practicum to understand how. Here’s what I learned: Clearly, Christ was a genius of epic proportions. He always knew exactly what he was talking about. My problem was that His seemingly simple statements turned out to be so high level, and fraught with so much implication, his message was rarely self-explanatory. Unfortunately, what is self-evident for epic genius is not necessarily so for the rest of us. The key to understanding His intentionality is grasping the fact that He flipped the script. He nullified the Old Covenant and started a new one. Christ scrapped Jewish Law, including the famous “eye for an eye” and replaced it with two simple imperatives: 1) Love God with all your heart and soul; 2) Love your neighbor as yourself. Rules are basically yes or no. They provide observational clarity as to their importance, e.g., do not steal. Christ’s principles are more complicated because they are not written on paper, but on our heart. He gave us the “what,” but offered little in the way of the “how.” Yet first century believers knew what He meant and acted accordingly. His followers today struggle with what He intended. So, let’s break it down. The first thing to understand is that there is a huge difference between loving someone and being “in love” with them. Being in love is a deep emotional feeling that touches us to the core. It’s not rational. We do not decide to be in love; love chooses us. When it does, it causes incredibly powerful feelings, emotions and behaviors that often make no earthly sense. Which is why Plato said, “Love is a grave mental disease.” God’s core insight into how best to exist was to discern that living completely ensconced in love is the very best for ever and ever - amen! That’s how He exists and it’s how He means for us to exist. Love is an unexplainable thing. But we keep trying. All our sonnets, songs and stories across history demonstrate the human effort to say what it is and why it causes what it does. But this love is not the love Jesus was talking about. It took me decades to understand this because I kept trying to reconcile my earthly understanding of love with finding a way to somehow bond with mean, rotten people. The beginning of my enlightenment came as I began studying the meaning of the word love in a deeper way. That pursuit shed great light on my confusion. In Webster’s Dictionary, the English word love has fifteen different definitions. To further complicate things, none says what the essence of love is. They break it down into “kinds.” Ergo, in English when we say, “I love you” we could mean one of fifteen kinds. And because what speakers imply may not be what hearers infer, the meaning behind “I love you” is often lost in translation. My first breakthrough came while getting my Master’s in Philosophy because it required some understanding of Greek. One reason why philosophers prefer it is that it is very precise. Where English has one word for fifteen definitions, Greek has a different word for each of love’s different definitions (for a complete list, Google “Greek words for love”). The New Testament was written in Greek (which I thought was pretty smart on God’s part). Studying the Greek word for the love Christ referenced tells us exactly what Christ meant when imploring us to love our neighbor and our enemies alike. The Greek word is Agape. It has nothing to do with bonding or trying to like people we don’t like. In fact, it has nothing to do with emotions and feelings at all. The word Agape means unconquerable kindness, which is about making a decision to act a certain way. How we feel is irrelevant to how we love Agape style. Agape love disconnects our behavior from our feelings. We can feel that one is mean and rotten and still treat them kindly. As such, our negative value judgments must not inform our treatment options. Christ wants us to decide to be a certain way toward others, even when our feelings cloud our intentionality. The idea of kindness being unconquerable is its essential aspect. Agape means proffering a love that cannot be deterred by another’s bad behavior. It allows us to be proactive instead of reactive, i.e., their shabby behavior does not dictate our response. This way, we don’t live in reaction. We decide who we are and what we’re about and erring on the side of kindness. Being this way is not easy. It can take a long time to learn, even with help from above. But this is what Christ meant by His dictum to love your enemy. To this He added an obvious truth: it is nothing to love those who love us, the real test is being unconquerable kind to our enemies. This is much more than a situational guide; it is the perfect approach to life for these reasons: 1) Christ said the measure we give is the measure we get. Ergo, when we are unconquerably kind as a matter of course, we engender kindness within our environment. Because life is a self-fulfilling prophesy, when we are unconquerably kind, we fill our lives with it. 2) When we’re unconquerably kind, we mute our negative emotions. It’s hard to be angry while being purposely kind. As such, adopting Agape as an approach to life allows us to have a peaceful mind, uncluttered by the negative emotions that cause bad attitudes. 3) Because Christ said that as we judge, so shall we be judged, when we are unconquerably kind with our assessments, God’s favor is heaped upon us. Unconquerable kindness allows us to moderate our judgments as well as our actions and leave the judging to God. 4) Christ said, “I came not to be served, but to serve.” When we accept Him, we likewise become servants that reflect Christ in us. And because He said when you do this for the least of these, you do it to me, we are actually being kind to God. That’s always a plus! 5) A deeper insight into Agape explains why Christ flipped the script. The Old Testament, being rules oriented, focuses on the outward being without regard to inward attitudes. If you follow the rules but you’re not right inside, you’re good. This is what Christ flipped. Learning to be unconquerable kind, we mold our inner being, which enables our exterior behavior to correspond. As a reward for our efforts, God grants us both the fruits of the spirit and the peace that passes understanding. The biggest reason, according to historians, that Christianity spread like wildfire in the first century is that, in a world of hate, thievery and murder, Christians were unconquerably kind to everyone. They shared everything; they fed the poor and helped the needy. They ministered to the sick, visited those in prisons, and shared water with the thirsty in the dessert. This new way of life literally made Christians the envy of the world. Everyone wanted what they had. And it all started with their motivation to spread Agape love. Once we understand that Christ’s intentionality regarding love means always being unconquerably kind, we can (with God’s help) make great strides toward changing our own world for the better. It certainly worked for me. -My Friend John