Growing up, kids are given conflicting stories about being curious. The first is about Isaac Newton sitting under an apple tree. An apple fell from the tree, hit him in the head and he changed the world curiously wondering - why?
The other is: Curiosity killed the cat. This is about minding your own business. It is most often heard when kids are curious about what they aren’t allowed to know, e.g., “Mommy, how are babies made?” But it only made me wonder how an abstract thought could kill a cat.
Two responses have emerged: The first – Curiosity killed the cat – but satisfaction brought it back! Which means we might get in over our head, but if we learn to swim . . . The second was coined by comedian Stephen Wright, “Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect!”
We can wonder about a thing to the point that we can’t let go. Posing curious questions to ourselves opens a hole in our psyche and it gnaws on us until we fill it with an answer that fits. This gnawing has driven humans to make all the great discoveries in history.
But if these holes become uncomfortable, e.g., “What happens when I die?” we jam “round answers” into square holes just to fill the void. Sometimes these wrong answers get wedged in so tight, they are difficult to pry it out later. Which is why people cling to wrong answers.
Curious people value open minds. Having the ability to keep holes open until they are properly filled is a scholarly art. The trick is to keep them open without letting them become so open, our mind becomes a sieve. Then nothing sticks.
So how do you know if you are in fact curious? People with closed minds aren’t curious because they already know it all. And when minds are too open, they’re like butterflies flitting from flower to flower all afternoon because they have ADHD. Their curiosity doesn’t last.
I believe the following five aspects distinguish curious people. While we are not perfect, we rely on them to inform our curiosity. That way, we avoid putting round answers in our square holes to kill the pain of not knowing the answer to an important question:
1) The focus is always on what’s right, not who’s right.
Curious people have a great deal of information from years of being curious and very few of us like being wrong. Unfortunately, to be human is to be sometimes wrong. The value of this curious rule is that it stops arguments in their tracks (which is great for marriages!).
Once the focus shifts from who’s right to what’s right, it goes from a confrontation to a mutual quest. If it turns out we were right, we don’t gloat, we’re humble. If we find out we were wrong, we’re thankful that life disabused us of bad information. In any event, we always make our words soft and sweet in the event we must later eat them!
2) Facts are not the end-all.
President John Adams famously said: “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever be our wishes, inclinations, or passions, they cannot alter the facts.” But what is a fact? Webster defines it as a proposition that is indisputably the case. But this is not wholly accurate.
For one thing, unlike truth, which is always true, facts are not necessarily permanently the case. They are only true in the context of time, e.g., The sun is shining in my study; soon this will not be true. In this way, facts can be false outside their parameters. And when they are twisted or removed from their context entirely, they can be turned into lies.
Facts are often in direct conflict, at least superficially. It is a fact that I am a white man. But my skin is brown. Both are facts, but they conflict. In this way, having facts on one’s side, doesn’t necessarily translate into possessing the truth. The early bird doesn’t always get the worm. At best, it only gets the early worm.
3) Opinions are only guideposts.
An opinion is a proposition we believe to be the case from experience. Education gives opinions expertise. But in all cases, they are a subjective analysis of something that might be right but could be wrong.
One thing we can say for sure is that opinions vary, particularly among experts. Psychology has six schools of thought (psychologists do not agree on that by the way). They have no facts upon which they all agree. Basic premises are diametrically opposed. But because they pick and choose individual facts to support their opinions, experts can sound right and be wrong.
Importantly, the golden rule of human nature is that there is literally no connection between the strength of a belief and its veracity. This is why we have the expression: cocksure. For curious people, all opinions are at best rough indications (like traffic signals).
4) How you know determines what you know.
Humans have developed three distinct ways of knowing a fact:
1) Reason and logic;
2) Empirical evidence; and
3) Inward subjectivity, i.e., intuition.
These are the rock, paper, scissors of knowing a fact. While each category of factual information can use the others, none absolutely depends on the others for their assertions.
For this reason, people can have very different answers to the same curious question and they can all be correct from their individual perspective. Logic doesn’t require evidence; gut feelings don’t have to be logical; and evidence doesn’t have to make sense.
5) Curious people are not inclined to accept standard answers.
All the great inventions were developed by curious people who thought: What if it is not the way we think it is? Einstein is the classic example. It’s one thing to accede to the current explanation because it’s convenient. But curious people are not inclined to accept answers without question.
When Einstein realized that German Physicist Max Planck was right about a crucial aspect of light, he knew other thoughts about light couldn’t be right. His curiosity about it changed the world. But curiously investigating generally accepted themes brings flack. Einstein was villainously attacked from all sides for upending the status quo; no slander was too great.
German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) famously noted the consequences of such rethinking: “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it’s violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as self-evident.” In modern parlance, if you put forth a truth that nullifies accepted wisdom, you will be savaged on social media, the cancel culture will ruin you and when it finally becomes obvious, everyone will say, “No Biggy, we knew it all along.”
In conclusion, curious people are those with a knack for investigating things that pique their interest. Curiously, how they gather the information will determine what they know. But because they strive to ascertain what is right, not - who is right, they are more often right. And because they understand that facts are distinguished from truth and truth is distinguished from The Truth, most knowledge is an approximation we call truth-likeness which in time gives way to closer approximations.
Therefore, curious people understand that it is possible for right and wrong to exist side by side. We can be right but also wrong. But curious people enjoy separating the difference. Only time (and a little bit of curiosity), will finally tell which is which.